He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
