I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Shame is for Republicans.
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