The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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