how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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