you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize