and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
