So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
