No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
