the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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