in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
