Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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