I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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