I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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