you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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