CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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