...so i touched it.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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