sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
