If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize