I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
