Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
