In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize