i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
