There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
