she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
