Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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