I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
