we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
