He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize