Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
True strength comes from lack of pants
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
