I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
