So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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