Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
