That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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