My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
