I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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