Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
