it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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