when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
