This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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