Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
