I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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