My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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