Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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