Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize