Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Drake has all the answers
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize