honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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