Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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