everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
