I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
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