I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
