remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
