I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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