Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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