i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
