who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize