I'm lost and stupid without you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize