So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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