eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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