my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
