peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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