Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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