Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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