I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
