woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This is my gift to your gina
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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