I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
