Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
