I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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