erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
