So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
