There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize